END OF FYP!!!!!

WHEEEEE!!!

TODAY marks the HAPPIEST day of my life since a v v v long time!

from now till NIE starts, i shall treasure every minute every second of it...

coz i feel like ive graduated... :)

only 2mods which i dun intend to study much.

so im like celebrating n slacking every moment of now tilll i need to start waking up at 5.30am. crap.

the final presentation ended off in a v v v goodnote :)

coz this time round, the panel were v v nice to me.. other than jjvittal who asked me

"you were the one who circulated the literature right?"

crap. hahahha

so i smiled and said "YES"

haha in my mind, i was thinking, must be me thats why u all so nice to me at that v moment coz the head coordinator who was in the panel was in the email loop too!

don't know if it was a good or bad thing that i got ARROWED out by jj

but heck la. its over. haha at least i felt that my email contributed some impact on their niceness this time :)

so there was YAO who so nicely and humbly commented his skeptism in the nicest way possible

and also LEONG W.K who APPRECIATED what i've done :) coz he did some of my expts before and he know all the tough shit ive gone thru..

I'm SO HAPPY... haha n most imptly LEONG spoke up for me when YAO tried his v last skeptism on me in the 15min they kept me in... hahaha

lalalala... they were actualli impressed and yao n leong wanted to "learn" more from me until all the other 3 professors walked out of the room leaving only 2 profs and me...

they asked me so so many things abt my project until they sort of dun haf much break time left coz it ate in to 20min of their supposed breaktime before the next session

and my labmates outside from the other session tho i kena v badly fr them! hahaha quite funny.

ok i'm just elated.

and happy. n glad.

everything ended offf so so wellll!!!

what more can i expect??? :) :)

from left, karen, kaka, liping and joawen!

and this is dear karen whom ive gotten so much closer after so many years tho we came from the same sec sch n jc n in chemistry after 3yrs!! :) thanks for all the chitchats n support n help babe! :) it's amazing how we can click so well tho we nv talked much for like near 6-7yrs from knowing each other's existence! hehe

so offff i went snapping some last pics with my beloved labbies above and celebrating the end of FYP with DEFINITELY MAYBE!!! :)

it's a supernice show. the whhole time dianah n i were guessing away who the MUMMY was hahah so fuN! n so touching also with a twist n unexpected ending.... GO WATCH! :)

lalalalala.. life's gooood :)

now i haf a million n one errands to do that ive postponed coz of fyp...
most imptly to fix all my spoilt camera, spoilt hp, go bank and BLOG abt my birthday etc! WOAH! lalallala

happy birthday serene tan sok chin :)

just came back from timbre arts house (again) in celebration of serene's fly me to the moon birthday! :)

awww such a sweet dedication.. a collaboration of her gang :)
imagine serene's once fav ngak singing to her and saying "i love you" hahahha.
oh well. but other than his nice dimples n his dragon looking side profile of his hair. i concluded that he's quite humsup too haha.
ohwell.

the birthday girl's so pretty today :) as usual :)

A HAPPY HAPPY BIRHTDAY DARLING SERENE!
thanks for asking me to tag along with u guys :) lets go shop like real sooon! after i move back to pgp! wahahaha.

*hugz*


--------------------------------------------------------

post fyp progress presentation trauma.

ok im still pissed. judging on how much complain i did to felicia n all
oh yes. i must say i really missed chatting with felicia.. somehow she's one of those i also can dun talk to for like dman many years but still can talk n talk n talk :) nice! love u girl :)

oh well. fyp. sigh. i'll be going to sch for fyp in about 7hours?
haiz.. duno la. just dun haf that much motivation anymore. just wanna finish what im supposed to do and get on with life. sucks.

to kailyn and sunder: thanks darlings. i'm gonna get the same panel again for my fyp FINAL presentation. im so not looking forward to them slamming my project down again. SIGH :( i can just forsee it la. i cant do anything much to change my project liao. not much time left. duno la sigh. im just a sad girl. i need some time to get over this trauma :( :( :( n get back my confidence..

it's not the YAO it's the YIP!

everyone's question: how was ur presentation?

my answer: bad like hell.

i broke down after the presentation. lost all motivation to do anymore research. wanted to quit fyp straight away. duno what the hell im in this seriously.

liping and i were SUAY like siao.
J YIP just had to be in the panel of judges.
he's NOT SUPPOSED to be in!!!
and he left the room after me!!! GOSH. SUAY like SIAO.

plus he tgth with YAO. i think they are the ultimate combi.
before i started, they even "bootlicked" one another.
"why would i dare to sit beside the great scientist?" said the yip to the yao.

-rollseyes-

to me it was totally disgusting. at that time, i found yip familiar but i didnt noe he was yip. but could sense his irritatingness.

so my presentation went ahead.

Q&A.. Thorsten started the questioning. it was fine.. THEN YAO started.. expected questions from all of them actually. and i was all well prepared.

BUT the BIG PROBLEM is that.. no matter how well prepared u were it's NO USE.
u bring up mechanisms. u bring up literature. u bring up proven studies by ur lab.
THEY SHOOT IT DOWN.
SLAM IT DOWN.

u noe what yip did. he didnt even bother looking at me or listening to me or my "heated" debate with yao and vittal. one hand with coffee, the other hand doing the "forget it" handsign. telling yao etc to stop grilling me. no use. my whole project is crap. PLATINUM ZERO cannot be OXIDISED.

I was so irritated. i brought up literature and they didnt believe me! just slam me down. what the hell. I SO TOTALLY HATE THEM.

i was just super offended. u haf no right to doubt everything the person says. if u ask the student, the student can answer, confidently with reasons, u can't just be still FULL OF URSELF and say "no, i don't believe it". "are you sure". YES I AM SURE. F*CK THEM LA. i don't normally swear but im seriously pissed. they dun respect students work at all.

oh and u noe what Yip said to me. " STOP TALKING TO FAST. I'm OLD my heart can't take it. will have heart attack". I REALLY WANTED TO SAY (if he wasnt my judge)
"WHY DUN U JUST LEAVE THE ROOM and SHUT THE F UP BEFORE U DIE OF HEART ATTACK and I'll POISON u with my Platinum NANOPARTICLES" go eat shit la.

ARGHS. im so so so pissed.

i really wanted to write an email to scold them of their unprofessionalism. but well, prof suresh just asked me to send an email with the journal as attachment to SHOW them what is happening in research.

I LOVE PROF SURESH. talking to him helps. he backs u up. defends u. promises that he won't allow any one to fail us. real nice. brought back my confidence. taught me how to ignore assholes like yip. I LOVE PROF SURESH! he's so so so funky! HAHAHAH so as what he told me, i sent an email to them..


Dear Professors,

As I was quite affected by the fact that the possibility of Pt(0) being oxidised to Pt(I) or Pt(II) to bind to DNA was being rejected during my presentation, I would like to attach the following journal published in the Journal of Amercian Chemical Society on 11 Jan 2007 to show the proposed mechanism that they had suggested which some of you did not quite believe in it. I dare not say that everything in this journal is true and alot of further studies need to be done, but I would just like to clarify that there is always a possibility that the Pt(0) nanoparticles do get oxidised just like how Ag(0) and Au(0) does as shown in other journals.

Attached is the journal just for your reference.

Abstract:
We report the evaluation of cytotoxicity of a new type of engineered nanomaterials, FePt@CoS2 yolk-shell nanocrystals, synthesized by the mechanism of the Kirkendall effect when FePt nanoparticles serve as the seeds. The cytotoxicity of FePt@CoS2 yolk-shell nanocrystals, evaluated by MTT assay,
shows a much lower IC50 (35.5 ( 4.7 ng of Pt/mL for HeLa cell) than that of cisplatin (230 ng of Pt/mL). In the control experiment, cysteine-modified FePt nanoparticles exhibit IC50 at 12.0 ( 0.9 íg of Pt/mL.

Transmission electron microscopy confirms the cellular uptake of FePt@CoS2 nanocrystals, and the magnetic properties analysis (SQUID) proves the release of FePt nanoparticles from the yolk-shell nanostructures after cellular uptake. These results are significant because almost none of the platinumbased
complexes produced for clinical trials in the past 3 decades have shown higher activity than that of the parent drug, cisplatin. The exceptionally high toxicity of FePt@CoS2 yolk-shell nanocrystals (about 7 times higher than that of cisplatin in terms of Pt) may lead to a new design of an anticancer nanomedicine.


Thank you.

trying to be SO SO diplomatic and not say that "hey u guys should not be so shallow and be full of urselves to NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING that others say based on what u know and what u think".




this is from the literature lor. they didnt believe what i say. how can! I don't believe such people exists. they are PROFESSORS LA!!! u noe what.

I HATE NUS coz of them. it's like the worse time ive had since ages. I HATE RESEARCH. HATE CHEMISTRY. i don't believe in research. whats the point when u publish journals and people doubt it. NO POINT.

arghs. venting my anger with stella over the fone for hrs helped a little. thanks dear. *hugs to u too*
now my eyes hurt. head hurts. coz of all the crying *sobs*
i'm abit more inspired to be with MOE again to show exactly how a TEACHER or wei ren shi biao should behave. n not ask people to jump off buildings, nor deny everything a students says.

i need a breather.
i wanna shop.
n wanna stop lab. but i cant. all this hard work not recognise. u noe how that hurts. sigh.

tmr's judgement day

FREAK. after all the horror stories the past 3 days. it's finally my turn tmr at 3pm.
help.

STUPID YAO better not try to be funnnnny..
sigh. he just said that my fren's project today was impressive. but too impressive it's unbelievable. a lie. sai la. go eat shit.
then he squeezed some kind of org synthesis question from a analytical student.
can someone just drop down from heaven and DAMPEN his freaking BURSTING GINORMOUS EGO.

i'm so sure tmr he's gonna ask me all the bio stuff. since that's his concentration. GENOMIC studies.
and me? i'm a CHEMIST. wrong. shud b chemistry STUDENT. he better not do anything funny or i'll curse him to death. and he better look me in the eye tmr before i gorge his eyes out.
he better not roll his eyes. say that my project is crap or what not.

prof suresh said to control our temper no matter what happens. yes i shall. i will psycho myself to say "THANKYOU" politely if any of his sickening sarcastic comments are directed to me. (i'm starting to get the similarity between Singapore Idol's Ken Lim and him.. but of coz. Ken Lim's more respectable i guess. at least he doesnt ask ppl to go jump off the building).

ok with that venting.

...
...
no it doesnt help.

im still stressed.

*WAILSSSSS*

AHHHHHH!!!!!


to fx: haha yeah! ive been seeing all the chem hons ppl these few days and everyone's like complaining and giving the super sei and tired n sian look! look what fyp has done to us!!! :(

to stella: thanks babe :) yeah i noe all the chem students are all suffering. poor US! :( yeah i'll miss sch totally. but coz of fyp, i cant seem to treasure my last sem as i should be. ahh! ok just 3more mths!! u jiayou too! :)