end of ese week 1
attachments are always so long n dreading n drainy...
with nothing much to do everyday in school
and when ur day starts at 5.30am upon waking up
it's just so wierd to have such a long day
after doing so many things and it's only 2pm.. and u haf half a day more to go!
eating n eating
i spend most of my time in twss's canteen
chatting to teachers, OM and vp..
im not as passionate compared to some of the nie trainees who just signed on..
actively looking for slots of classroom observations, staying back for CCAs n stuff
there's something seriously wrong with me
especially after the talk with mr ralph and his "scholar expectations" and "double negatives"
just makes me feel bad n lousy n guilty that im not as passionate and on as the ese peeps/practicum teachers in my sch..
honestly, i dunno how far i can go in this..
why does teaching suddenly haf to become this place u hafta excel n strive hard to perform n "beat the rest" just like in a stupid rc course that i go for in sec sch.
i dislike it so much.
kc says i dun give enuf confidence n credit to myself.
or perhaps its just humility.
also this experience is kinda sian tho i love the sch
coz meeting people who tend to b more showy of what they know..
and meeting people who are kindof more immature n whiny which i dun think the behaviour makes the person very suitable to b a teacher or in the working world..
i haf much thigns to whine abt and yet i cant really do that to my newfoundfrens coz it's just a too gossipy act to do in the "working world"
and the showy n whiny ppl are actualli v nice. just the way they behave that i cant stand.
and pretence is kinda in my blood everyday.
sigh.
3 more weeeks.
of boredom and pretence perhaps.
i miss my old frens.
4 comments:
welcome to the f-up working world. 3 wks into my working life im near death. hahaha! i totally can understand your misery.. ;) -ser
i totally hear you on how draining it is, when you're required to work ur ass off just to stay afloat. I believe its not necessary la, tho my results show I may be misguided.
Whatever the case; hang in there! we're here if u need to whine without worrying abt repercussions at work =)
xy.. jiayou jiayou kk! hope you find some little things that will keep you happy at ur work place.. i miss ya too old fren :)luohan
its ok babe, i think u are just warming up. slowly, you will get used to it. and its ok not to be super competitive and wanting to beat everybody. to each his own. being uncompetitive does not mean that you are unmotivated. (i choose not to compete)
im also taking some time (a lot of time) to get used to this whole idea of being a teacher. im working towards being a good teacher to my students and i am content with the little things abt the job that makes me happy
hugs hugs hugs
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